The paradox of contradicting erotic and real life roles.

There is a paradox many who are associated with femdom fetish and masochism (mostly the humiliation, control, etc masochists, not the real pain masochists, which compose a specific category) ocassionaly mention. So, they often, surprised, conclude that masochists and femdom fetishists are very successful in real life and they are dominant in their real life. The solution to this supposedly paradox is simple. Their whole brain is simply functioning around terms like: worthy/unworthy, demand, dominant/submissive, above/below, so they watch real life this way and their erotic life too. For example, they work hard in order to feel worthy to be able to get satisfaction (for instance an expensive meal, etc). This ill perceived reality makes them active in real life, but in a compulsive way and not in a healthy creative way. But why, since these people are so dominant in real life, they choose to be submissive in their erotic life? Because, since they view life and pleasures as being worthy of them, etc, it is easy to feel below a hot woman (that has plastic eyelashes, fake boobs, etc, but they don't realise that). Also, they may excites them the fact they serve a mistress instead of fuck a hot model, since their servitude makes them feel worthy, since they get the attention of a "diva" and not a regular whore that anyone can have (the fact they suffer makes them feel they do something important, an ill-perceived reality of a child who reads textbooks to get good grades because he is forced to, without reason, and he ends to think that suffering is good). Also, they may perceive their desire for a hot woman as weakness and her charm as a power, because for them everything is about powers and weaknesses. Why these people don't want to be dominant in their erotic life, since they always seek dominance in real life? Because their chasing for dominance in real life is not a healthy attitude, but they seek dominance not because they enjoy it, but as a compulsion and as a way to alleviate their fear of insecurity and inferiority. That's why they choose to be submissive in their erotic life, in order to alleviate their fears. Isn't contradicting that they alleviate their fear they might be weak, etc by choosing to be weak in their erotic life? Well, no, because experiencing what they fear, they stop fearing it any more. Being submissive in their erotic life makes their mind place all their inner fears about weaknesses and inferiority to the erotic field, which is well controlled and well hidden (they actually have control over their mistress and their submissiveness is their little secret), otherwise they would live with their fears. Once again, it is shown that masochistic and femdom activities are a way to express a traumatic individual and these people must have the cure that they need and not to pay low life scums like dominatrixes. They often express their fetishes in a trustful relationship and this seems to work for them, but again, it is not wise science and society to close their eyes towards a mental health issue.

Subconscious fears and conflicts

In order to diagnose, cure, etc fetishes, we must have access to the subconscious. The true mechanism of perversion lies in the subconscious, that's why often perverse activities are not explicable by fetishists themselves or the researchers. It is interesting to find a tool or technic that would be able to read thoughts that otherwise cannot be aware by the consciousness and thus expressed by speech. Thinking, fantasizing, etc are all brain functions and their basis is electrochemical brain activities. So, being able to detect and record that activity would enable us to later reproduce it and decode it into images and thoughts. Tiny electrodes and molecular imaging scanners could detect and record electrical activities and changes in molecular structure in real time, that are supposed to create thoughts. Another key to explore, is whether subconscious thoughts take place as speech or not, in other words if we make subconscious thoughts as sentences spoken by the subconscious voice of our mind. Then decoding would be easy if we match specific words with specific electrochemical brain activities. Drugs that will supress conscious control over subconscious and thus help us reveal subconscious would be useful too. Being able to listen to the subconscious, we will find the thoughts that trigger sexual arousal towards a fetishistic image that is normally repulsive to other people. This post is about reading the subconscious, another post will be about how to treat the false thoughts of subconscious or resolve conflicts between consciousness and subconscious.

Preventions and Solutions

So far, the blog has focused on exposing the mechanisms behind fetishes and mainly the most common, astonishing and disturbing fetish, masochism in the form of femdom. However, in order to make the world and humanity free from sexual perversions we must develop technics to diagnose, to prevent, to cure, etc perversions. It is quite common, phrases like 'cure perversions' raise significant objections from perverts mainly and closet perverts, who do not want to consider perversion as a disease and do not want to give up their perversions (it is understandable since it is their only way to achieve orgasms). However, it must be established that diagnosing, curing, etc sexual perversions is essential, not because some kind of religious compulsions dictate this or because humanity should be afraid of perverts etc (there is nothing really wrong with perverts, if within the law and if they do their perversions privately), but because, since perversions are expressions of inner conflicts and fears, studying them is a good vehicle that will lead us to understanding and curing human psyche and since perversions are symptoms, we will cure psyches and develop healthier psyches.

Common research flaws.

Before proceeding in analyzing femdom fetish and masochism (again, talking about males exclusively) it must be stressed that most researchers stop analyzing masochism at the point that they found that the masochist enjoys his life and his masochistic activities and that without engaging in masochistic activities, he gets depressed. Most researchers also rest upon masochists' claims that their need to submit, to worship, to suffer for the name of their love object, to taste the body fluids of the love object, etc are all parts of intimacy, sexual arousal intensification, etc and they get convinced by these claims. Most researchers ended up into the trap to consider male masochism as a sexual preference that there is no worry to engage to masochistic activities etc. Ofcourse this is a tragic mistake because they fail to analyze and possibly develop treatments to cure the trauma behind masochism. As this blog extensively analyzes, masochism is a symptom of trauma and the masochist experiences masochistic activities surely egodystonically, surely while being ego-detached and surely with major amount of distress, but the alleviating of the conflict that masochistic activities offer, is overstressed and many people would draw the false conclusion that masochism makes masochist happy. In fact, it is a necessary evil for him in order to achieve relief from his inner conflict and the only way to get full erection. Please, notice the 'full' because psychiatric manuals mention that if erection can be achieved without masochistic activities, then there is no problem with the masochist. They don't mention that even though masochists can achieve erection without masochistic activities, maybe their masochistic fantasies help them do so, or maybe their erection is not pleasurable or hard enough. So we must not underestimate that the healthy sexuality and attitude is to have hard erection with the absence of masochistic activities or fantasies and less or no erection with the presence of these.

Disgust

Disgust is a major element in most masochistic fantasies and activities. For example, urination into mouth is arousal for many masochists. Ofcourse the view of the female genitalia and the proximity to it, is arousal for most men. Even the urinating female genitalia can be still arousing to some men, if they simply ignore the urination and focus on the genitalia itself. So, at first place, it is deception for someone to believe he is urophiliac or masochist because he is aroused at the sight of the urinating female genitalia. However, masochistic way of thinking often uses specific arguements to justify the need of urination drinking etc. For example that urine is a product of the love object and 'must' be worshipped as the love object itself. Ofcourse that logic flaw is not true at all, it is not necessary to love waste in order to completely love a love object. It is interesting why masochistic mind generates such excuses in order to expose the masochist to an unpleasing and humiliating situation of urine drinking. The mechanism of putting himself into harsh situations in the name of his love for the love object is quite common in masochistic way of thinking. The masochist claims that this increases his love because it is love through self sacrifice, thus he achieves greater sexual arousal. The truth is that the greater arousal is from the self-defeating and humiliating act and not from the love expressed through sacrifice. Love can be expressed through sacrifice, but some external coincidence should create such situation in order to put someone his self into sacrificing, otherwise no one would deliberately sacrifice himself without reason, in contrast with the masochist. Moreover, if urinating wasn't considering disgusting or humiliating, the masochist wouldn't find it fascinating. His need for acts that defeat his ego and his superego ofcourse serve to defeat his obstacles about sexuality. Another thing to consider is that the masochist considers, at first hand, female genitalia as dirty since it urinates. He won't touch, lick, etc female genitalia because of his fear that it will urinate on him or that it will be dirty from previous urinatings. So his conflict creates fears that prevent his arousal. Exposing himself to what he fears, under controlled situation ofcourse (for example a woman he knows and trusts, that he knows she is not infected, that she will stop if he orders her to stop etc etc) his fear become obsolete (remember that fear is distress about possible future dangers) and so he can achieve erection, since he is already 'dirty' with urination. Another thing to consider, is that many urophiliacs claim that urinating fetish is about intimacy. Ofcourse genitalia is trully about intimacy, but urinating, since it is disgusting and dirty and dangerous and socially unacceptable, etc can successfully be omitted from the meaning of intimacy. However they choose to consider this as intimacy, simply because it serves their need to alleviate their conflicts and fears. Moreover, with their indulging to urophilia, they break society taboo's that they experience them too demanding and too prohibiting, so that engaging to urophilia gives them an imaginary and false feeling or freeing. As for forcing to do disgusting things that is common in femdom masochism, it surely serves the same principle. The masochist is who he orders the dominatrix to force him do so and the forcing is not about proving his love, his submission, etc, but it symbolizes his overcoming of his ego and superego that pose obstacles to his sexuality. It is clear that disgust associated with fetishes and femdom masochism is basically the express of the inner conflict that superego's obstacles create.

The fetish of the deceived: femdom

Fetishists of femdom suffer from distorted sexuality and inner conflicts that mess up their sexuality. It is not impossible, but requires extensive research, to index all the possible fears and conflicts that may lead someone to femdom fetish. Unfortunately, researches and practicioners do not seem to bother doing this, because it is quite established the arguement not to touch human psyche, unless a serious problem comes in surface. Ofcourse this is not supposed to improve knowledge of human psyche. Anyway, what is the matter with femdom fetishists is that they need to deceive themselves with various deceptions in order to function properly sexually and this is sad, dangerous and definately not healthy. There is also a portion of those that are undeliberately deceived by their own mind, for example those who think that making love to a woman means submission etc and these may fall into femdom fetish, by their own deceptions. The influential impact of the images and videos of femdom are not to be ignored, especialy now that internet made them available to young men. Since, many websites contain questions like 'are really dominatrixes that cold, cruel, etc?' we can assume that youth is exposed to another threat, to another deceptive messages that they need to filter properly. Most parents do not seem able to protect their children properly and children often lack someone to teach them how to block bad influences and deceptive messages.

The fetish of the psychologically impotent: femdom

Other characteristics that femdom fetishists share are low self esteem, low sociability, shame, feeling addicted, feeling consumed, feeling unable and helpless. All these thoughts are ofcourse inhibiting sexual arousal. Their mind makes these thoughts in order to help them control their sexual urges for other reasons. So why would a masochist, or otherly refered as femdom fetishist, gets erected when called addicted, when called shameful, when called pathetic, etc? Wouldn't that inhibit more his sexuality? He actually chooses to go through that suffering in order to achieve sexual arousal. This, although it seems contradicting, it is very clear. The masochist is entagled into a conflict between sexual urges and sexual inhibitions in the form of feeling unworthy, shameful, disgusting, addicted, consumed, helpless, manipulated, etc. He cannot ignore neither of these opposing forces. He cannot reassure himself that he is not disgusting, addicted etc (his mind will try to find 'evidence' to remind him, for example his mind perceives his every erection as a disgusting thing or addicted or pervert, etc) and he cannot ignore his sexual urges, because he derives pleasure from them. He tries to balance by experiencing not too intense orgasms (under the effect of inhibitions) and by trying to limit his masturbation, arousal etc. Pornography of femdom brings an imbalance into this conflict. It urges him to express his sexual urges (by portraying the female partner as goddess, as irresistible, as demanding, as powerful etc and by portraying the male partner as weak, lustful, out of control, etc) and at the same time it fuels his inhibitions. This way, the inner conflict is externalized and the femdom fetishist, from the safety of his seat, he feels disgusted and aroused at the same time. He already felt this way before ofcourse. Now he has to choose, to masturbate or not to. He starts to masturbate to this stuff so he overcomes his fears. Ofcourse, this fuels his conflict so that eventually it hooks him.

Fear and chemicals

It has been documented that fear may cause or facilitate sexual arousal. Psychoanalytically, the experience of losing one's self during femdom activities (losing masculinity or losing dignity or losing purity etc may be perceived as losing self) imposes a fear of death and it may cause erection in order to fertilize the woman and satisfy the natural evolution goal. But, actually, fear is supposed to inhibit sexuality, since it stimulates sympathetic system. And ofcourse, penis is shrinked when a man is feared. Thus, the fear in femdom is not the same fear, it is not a regular common fear. This is clear, since a man (even a masochist) who fears he will be whipped by enemies while he is a war prisoner, he ofcourse does not have an erection, in contrast with a masochist who fears he will be whipped by a beautiful woman while he is her sexual prisoner. The differences between these two fears are that in femdom, the masochist deliberately exposes himself to the fear (of loss of masculinity, dignity, purity, etc). Also the exposure to the fear is controlled, he knows that his partner, although she is supposed to be sadistic, she is not a dangerous schizo. He exposes himself to a fear that is not a real threat (for example he would not accept to cut his throat, etc). Also, he knows he can stop this anytime he wants. The reason of the fear is his own desire, for example he endures whipping, because he wants to satisfy his supposedly sadistic partner, and subsequently he wants to satisfy himself (while, eg being whipped by enemies, is against his desires). Those differences, indicate that it is not the fear that actually causes arousal. The real fear causes inhibition of sexual arousal. The arousal is caused by enduring the fears safely and thus overcoming the sexual inhibitions they impose, so that few normal sexual stimulis would be enough to cause arousal (for example considering his partner as goddess, considering himself unable to control his lust, etc). That is to say that femdom fetishists are not just fear and pain junkies that get sexually aroused by endorphines, etc. This would be a basis for all people to get aroused this way and this would mean that all people in stressful situations are prone to sexual arousal, which is not correct ofcourse.

Inhibition

From femdom video descriptions, one can clearly notice the attack to manhood, self esteem, power of the self, etc. Why would one get attacked about his manhood, self esteem etc? And how this could cause sexual arousal? Well, probably because his perception of power, manhood, etc are that these values prevent him from sex. But, how can one's manhood prevent him from sex? Although, it sounds contradicting, it must be that he perceives himself less powerful when he experiences sexual signals from a woman. In order to protect his power feeling, he utilizes his manhood and his minds tells him that he is a strong man and he can control himself and not crave that woman or not express sexual actions towards that woman. This is how manhood or pride or power etc is entagled with sexuality. So attacking his manhood she helps him get rid of an obstacle to sex. That's why he craves to be dressed like a woman, for example. So when he is into such situation, it is so easy for him to experience his sexuality without inhibitions. Although these posts don't or may not apply to female masochists, it works the same as when a woman gets aroused when she is called a slut. And the more she fears of being called a slut, the more she gets angry when she is called a slut in real life (outside the bedroom) and the more she craves to be called a slut in the bedroom. It is because she utilizes her pride, her dignity, her sexual purity, etc, she gives too much importance to them, in order to supress her sexual urges. So it is a need for her to be called a slut in order to get off. Otherwise, the obstacle is there and prevents her from getting off. So it is a major mistake to try to supress sexual urges by utilizing irrelevant virtues. If a masochist uses his virtue of purity (he feels clean if not touching others, body liquids, etc) to prevent him from sex (he disgusts sex) he may develop a craving for being forced to do disgusting things in order to get aroused. So femdom is actually beating his own obstacles that prevent him from arousal. Ofcourse there is a difference: being called a sissy by a stranger man does not cause arousal, but anger and depression, in contrast with being called a sissy from his mistress or any hot woman, which causes arousal and submission. This is because he must feel sexual attraction to the person that degrades him in order that degradation will trigger arousal. If he had a healthy sexuality and he didn't try to suppress his sexual urges, but experience them in a healthy manner, with a healthy masturbation, with a healthy relationship, etc, he wouldn't perceive self esteem reduction as a sexual stimuli. Ofcourse there are other reasons that he utilizes virtues etc to suppress his sexuality. For example if he is already depressive, his disease prevent him from sex, so even though he doesn't deliberately suppress his urges, his disease does so, by making him think that he is not worthy for a woman, etc. The words worthy, reward, etc are very common in femdom video scripts. This may indicate a tendency for masochism of people that view their sexuality (or life in general) in terms of rewards, worthiness, etc. That's why businessmen and scientists, who endure discomfort (by reading books hard to understand, memorize, etc) in order to get a reward (success in exams, financial gains, better position in work etc). They are often judge people by their worthiness (money, looks, education, position, etc) and it is more easy for them to compare themselves with a superior person and feel unworthy. How making them feel unworthy is linked with sexual arousal, is logical if feeling worthy prevents their sexuality. And how can feeling worthy prohibits their sexuality? Well, there are various mechanisms, for example feeling too much worthy, makes them consider women inferior and they may be snob to them, they think why would a worthy man express interest to them, etc. So the main core of masochism and femdom is to reduce obstacles of sexuality in order to cause arousal. But how can reducing obstables towards sexuality actually trigger sexuality? It is because sexuality is always supressed and it finds an occasion to express itself. But also there is a subconscious thinking, where the mind tells the masochist that he is a sissy, he is a slut, he is a wanker, etc and thus the mind triggers his own erection. Because the mind supposes a conclusion after the whole femdom scene/activity, etc. The mind, first, actually believes and incorporates the femdom script (eg he accepts he is going to be humiliated) and the mind subconsciously draws a conclusion: now that he is humiliated he is helpless to inhibit his craving for the love object, he is surrendered, he has no other ways to defend against his love object. For most masochists ofcourse there is a clear way thinking that triggers erection, they want to serve, etc and that is enough. Their way of thinking is too much distorted and their whole values and view of life etc is totally problematic.

Denial

Another strange thing is why the masochist/slave, while in the presence of a beautiful woman in femdom videos, while he is erected, etc he does not... attack her. This is very strange thing. Ofcourse the mistress supposedly does not want or allow the slave to attack her sexually. But again, this is what the slave wants her to be and to do. Why the male masochist simply doesn't pay a prostitute to enjoy her and he pays a dominatrix to stand erected in front of her not being able to touch her? If this is not of a major clinical significance, what is more psychosexually abnormal? Sure, the masochist would say that this increases sexual arousal. Ofcourse it is arousing to watch. But obviously it is strange, why he chooses not to be allowed to touch? Wouldn't that increase his arousal more? Sure. Well, it is because he is forced to replay the script that his mind has obliged him. In this script, the love object must not be touched. He must feel denied by his love object. This will represent his fear of being denied. And this will cause erection (due to the normal sexual stimuli, eg the female body, etc) and satisfaction because the sexual arousal is achieved despite of the fear that is now represented in front of him. It is very strange that the masochist will not have an erection when he is with a normal girl or when he looks at normal pornography. This is because normal pornography triggers his inhibitions. Ofcourse femdom pornography visualizes his inhibitions so the masochist is not inhibited by his own mind, but by his love object, his mistress, and this makes his mind not being occupied by his internal inhibitions, but by the external inhibitions represented by his mistress. This mechanism leads to erection (given that there is sexual attraction, etc) because the externalized fears and threats are represented as mistress demands, or the femdom script/situation demands, so the masochist acts under a specific situation, with specific parts of his mind to work. He behaves as if he has lost his dignity, as if he has lost his masculinity, etc so he is free to erect, since there is no fear of the loss of these anymore.

Focus

As already made clear, the goal of the masochist is not sexual satisfaction, is not suffering, is not humiliation, it is overcoming the fears, by retaining an erection, by focusing on his love object.

Why does a masochist need to have a goddess, instead of a just hot beautiful woman? Hot women are a no no for him, for various reasons (low self esteem, small penis etc). Moreover hot women are what his inhibitions talk about. That's why he need to create another kind of woman, a mistress, that will trick his mind to overcome his inhibitions. He deliberately places himself into stressful and fearful situations for another reason as well: in order to distract his mind from its normal state. The whole scenario he builds (slave, student, patient, prisoner, etc) makes his mind not to think about normal stuff. Thus it increases his focus to his love object.

So, it is not what masochists say about themselves, that they are thrilled by the fact that they are at the mercy of their mistress, it is that this situation simply helps them focus. Maybe attention deficiency disorder is linked to masochism. Maybe intellectual people (especially those forced by their parents and not like themselves to read) tend to be more masochistic because of their need to focus or their habit to focus.

It is also often mentioned that powerful businessmen, lawyers, CEOs etc are often masochists. This is not because they want some times to leave the control to a woman because they want to change, as cheap prostitutes called themselves dominatrixes claim. It is because for them sex is often considered a threat, because it distracts them from their work that needs high focus, because their social status makes them feel superior and wanting a woman is perceived by them as a weakness, etc. Also it is because they were forced to study textbooks and do other things that they did not want to, but they were told that although disgusting and painful, they will be beneficial and rewarding. That reminds alot the femdom video scripts, where the slave is forced to do something dreadful against his will in order to be rewarded.

Ofcourse, human reward system is a healthy mechanism, but it is used by masochist as an excuse to justify their masochistic acts. It is reward to go to the gym, have a nice body, in order to find hotter women, but it is not reward to lick shoes in order to gain your right to ejaculate.

Re-enacting trauma

It is mentioned that people traumatized in the past "want to go through the same situation but that it not result negatively as it did in the past". That's why, for example seek humiliation in their sexual practices. This quoted sentence however does not explain the sexual arousal that masochist experience. They may be humiliated by their mistress and enduring that and going out 'alive' would be enough. But why erection? Well, it is because that quoted sentence is half true, as for sexual practices. The masochists' goal is not to simply to endure the pain again, but to focus on neutral sexual stimuli, eg their mistress body, her power over him, etc and have erection despite the pain, humiliation, etc. They need to alleviate themselves from the inhibitory effect of their past trauma towards their sexuality. This way they can achieve erection. Ofcourse that erection is not greater than the erection of a healthy sexual man with free mind from sexual inhibitions (or at least well absorbed and defined sexual inhibitions and not exagerrated ones etc). It is just greater erection than their erection they have under their inhibitions.

Videos of femdom

It is often mentioned in femdom masochistic stories or video description "the slave must do something". The force is either derived from his sexual urges, his 'justifiable' punishment, his obligation to serve his mistress, his mistress demands etc. But never from his self. His self is totally ignored (ofcourse, because his real self wants other things! eg. to simply fuck his mistress, to simply not have sexual inhibitions, distractions, fears, etc - that's why femdom fetish and male masochism is a psychosexual malfunction). The action he must do is always self attacking and self destructive. But it is not about attacking his self actually. It is about attacking his inhibitions, his fears, his perception of his self, etc. For example, it is often required from the slave to lick something disgusting for example urine. Urine fetishists may differ from masochists. The first enjoy urine (for some reasons) and urine does not disgust them (they see it as a natural body product, maybe symbolizes intimacy, etc). The second, the masochist, is disgust by urine, but he is forced to lick it. His answer, why he puts himself into this stressful situation, is because he is supposed to prove his servitude, to express admiration, etc. The truth is that if he would do that, he wouldn't feel the need to be forced to do that by his mistress or as a punishment, etc. He actually uses his mistress to help him overcome his disgust inhibitions that prevent him from a healthy sexuality.

Dilemma

There is a strange force that makes a femdom fetishist to enact masochistic acts. As for humiliation, he must first be sensitive to humiliation. Specific humiliating things must be humiliating for the specific masochist. For example for one it may be humiliating to be forced to dress like a woman, but for a cross-dress fetishist, this may not be humiliating, he may regard this as his true nature, he feels nice in women clothes and not humiliated.

How can something can be humiliating? Because it leads to loss, loss of dignity, loss of masculinity, loss of egoism, etc. Many people dress in woman clothes for masquarade parties, halloween, etc. They don't feel humiliated, they are having fun. What makes them not feel humiliated is that they do not feel they loose their masculinity or anything. Ofcourse, the fact that the others in the masquarade party are dressed too, makes them feel more comfortable (this is another important issue to be discussed).

Back to the topic, the masochist has a developed (often subconscious) fear. For the forced dressing example, he fears of losing his masculinity, his power, his self, his dignity (whatever represents for him dressing with his normal clothes, that's why the same humiliating action may fascinate many masochists, because each can find his own fear in it). How can loss of masculinity is associated with women and sexuality in general? Maybe his inability (for various reasons, small penis, sociability, etc) to make sexual relationships makes him perceive sexuality as a loss of masculinity, because it reminds him his inadequacy as a man. Other reason may be that he feels weak with a woman (and he feels weak because he feels aroused and feeling aroused and under the dizziness of sexual arousal he feels as weak).

Since he has assigned a fear, a threat, to women and to sexuality in general, this fear/threat works as an inhibition that prevents him from seeing women sexually, etc. The solution to this, is to either ignore his sexual urges, or somehow overcome his fear. Ignoring his sexual urges is not something he wants, so he cannot avoid sexuality and thus he cannot avoid his fear, which is bound with his sexuality. So he needs to overcome a fear that he cannot avoid. This is the mechanism behind most if not all masochistic tendencies. The elements are fear/threat, and force/inescapable.

Now, a mechanism of the mind comes in, which makes him cope with his fear. In this fight or flight situation, the masochist actually has no alternative: he jumps into the stressful situation and to fight with his fear. Why he does that? Well, he cannot go back actually, because he needs to satisfy his sexual urges. These splitting inner forces, force him into this stressful situation. He must expose himself to his fear in order to cope with it and in order to gain what he seeks: sexual satisfaction, otherwise he will not get sexual satisfaction (and it is not only his need for sexual satisfaction, but he also needs to make the fears that hunt him each time he watches a woman, or he sees something sexual, etc, to cease, so double goal). Ofcourse, there is something important: would he overcome his fear if he will go with a prostitute, have sex, and everything is ok? No! He will not have sexual satisfaction, because his inhibitions may prevent his erection, his mind will be distracted by his fear, etc. So he need to set up a scene with a woman that will force him to dress as a female. This situation only will represent accurately his inner threat and fear. Coping with this situation, will alleviate his fear of loss of masculinity. So femdom fetishist is actually trying to cope with his fears. Overcoming his fear will lead to peace of mind and sexual satisfaction. So, it is clear why he seeks sadistic partners, stressful and threatening situations, etc. He does not derive satisfaction from his humiliation for example, he simply needs to be in that situation in order to make his mind stop saying to him 'what if she will humiliate you'. But, this is only the first step to overcome his fear (his sexual inhibition), to simulate the fear by engaging in a femdom scene. What about the other, most essential part? Overcoming his fear? Would slapping his mistress as she humiliates him and raping her, mean overcoming his fear? Would answering with insults to his mistress who humiliates him, mean overcoming his fear? Well, that is what one would expect. But, actually, his fear is not actually that he fears of being humiliated, this whole mechanism is a sexuality inhibition (that the mind uses to supress sexuality, for various reasons, for example because he feels overwhelmed by his sexuality, etc). So, his goal is not to make his fear stop by raping his mistress, his goal is to retain his sexuality, even under that stressful and fearful situation! So he focus in the sexuality of the scene (there must be a sexuality, otherwise there the scene is not valid, eg he focus to his love for his mistress, her beautiful body, her demandings that he perceives them as an opportunity to satisfy her, etc). By enduring all what he feared, and supposedly be sexually aroused, he actually overcomes his fear: he express his sexuality even when exposed to his fears. This is the masochist's goal. It is not his goal to retain his dignity, masculinity etc (since that would inhibit his sexuality or simply while retaining his dignity etc he would not be as sexual as if he loose it). It is his goal to express his sexuality under situations that supposedly supress his sexuality.

Ofcourse, the femdom masochist is simply found to fight with imaginary enemies, with non-existing fears. And this is very sad. All "scientists" that claim male masochism or femdom is healthy, they do this either because they lack the way to explain it, or because masochists are not clinically significant cases. The masochist is blinded by fear, fears that don't exist, and he is watched to suffer from imaginative whips, illusionary enemies, for simply no reason.

Female sadists are simply hurted women that want revenge, insecure women, imbalanced women, women who cannot get male attention and admiration otherwise, cheap prostitutes that prefer to whip men than fucking them, etc.

Male masochists want their female sadistic partners to pretend being sadistic, so to simply externalize their threats and fears. Imagine a healthy sexually person: he gets angry at the woman who humiliates him, he loses his initial sexual interest if she humiliates him, he looses his erection if he experiences pain, he wants his partner to be loving etc. He laughs at the sight of a mistress with a whip or at the sight of a humiliating mistress. This is the normal reaction. He does not feel threatened and he does not fear anything, his dignity, his masculinity, his self, etc are intact, safe, etc. He does not see the reason to compromise them in order to have sexual satisfaction, he actually has sexual satisfaction because of his masculinity, his self, his dignity, that are appreciated by his female partner and he feels loved.

Thus, male masochists' sexuality is totally messed up.

Erotic humiliation

This is an essay as a response to many people who wonder how racial humiliation can be a fetish:

Definition:
Fear of being humiliated is a psychological force that the mind uses in order to prevent urges from coming out (and to make you act inside the norms of your morals, values, needs, society standards, or to prevent previous or future difficult situations, traumatic experiences that your urges may lead you to, etc).

Examples:
You fear of being humiliated and called whore, in order to supress your sexual urges to fuck around with hot guys. You want to get fucked, but society and your values are opposing, by instillating you a fear of humiliation.
You fear of being humiliated and called wanker, in order to supress your desire to wank (it is also quite common that you think you wank too much, while you do not wank too much ofcourse, plus there is nothing bad with wanking alot, but your own mind wants to somehow suppress your urges and it makes you think you wank too much!).

Why the mind wants to supress to urges?
Let's see the whole procedure: Wanting to wank is experienced as an intense desire and this intense desire makes the mind fear of it as something that it cannot control. That's why your mind is creating mechanisms to suppress/control your urges. Ofcourse this point of view has passed to the whole society and parents, school, etc often discourage you from masturbation (that's why wanker is an insult, because previous societies had hostile views towards masturbation, because it was experienced as a strong uncontrollable desire).

So black men you crave white sluts, must experience inner obstacles towards their desires for a white slut (often subconscious). These obstacles maybe racial (feeling shame you want white sluts and not hot sistas with big booties, etc) or prior traumatic experiences with white sluts (thus your mind needs to protect you) or because you feel inferior towards white sluts (racist views imposed by society) or because craving white sluts destroys your narcissistic views towards white sluts that you shouldn't crave them in order to be independed of them, or because craving a white slut may bring you close to white male friends that may humiliate you, etc so many reasons can be! but only one goal! to supress your urges! And how can your mind prevent you from craving white sluts? It will connect your desire for white sluts with a great fear, being humiliated. For some, being humiliated for their small penis may work, for others being humiliated for their color may work better, and so on. Thus, you fear of being humiliated and called nigger, in order to supress your lust to fuck a white slut. You want to fuck the while slut, but society and your values or your own mind are opposing, by instillating you a fear of humiliation.

Small penis humiliation may do nothing for someone (even if he is just average or even small) while racist humiliation may also do nothing for another. So this simply shows that humiliation is subjective and a creation of the mind and its influences, experiences, the way it developed through childhood, social environment, etc.

So, in reality, the fear of humiliation is created by the own mind to defend against the urges, and ofcourse the parents, society, culture, etc may teach one's mind to fear specific humiliations.

How do urges react:
1) Ofcourse the urges create in the mind their own defenses in order to defend themselves too: for example your other part of the mind, where the urges come from, may tell you that accepting being called nigger by a white slut, will prove that you love her too much, etc in order to intensify the urges (which ofcourse is false, because why simply not bring her flowers in order to prove that you love her so much? why your mind tells you to suffer what you fear in order to please her? because the sacrifice is bigger? sounds logical heh? NO! because your own mind wants to beat its obstacles! if you would ask her, she wouldn't even want to call you nigger, if she is normal and not a sick psycho bitch ofcourse). The purpose is not to prove your love, but to beat your inner obstacles that supress your urges! That's why a hot white chick may not excite you that much as a white psycho bitch that insults you! It's all about you and the battle inside your mind!

2) Another defensive mechanism is that your mind says you that if you endure the humiliation you fear you will get her attention, sounds logical heh? NO! why don't you go to the gym to impress her with your muscles? Because again it is about defeating your inner obstacles! You would surely get NEGATIVE attention if you come to her and tell her that you want to be her loser nigger slave! ha! And you know it, but again, it is just about what is happening in your own mind!

So your own mind (the part that urges come from) wants for you a sick pervert white slut... This is not masochistic, the mind will simply use her to overcome its inner obstacles! Why don't you crave a white submissive girl that loves black cock? (there are so many, heh) You will answer that she doesn't excite you that much as the psycho sick bitch! Because with the first girl, the conflict will be still there! So it is not that sick white sluts are hotter, it is because they serve you in order to overcome your own conflicts!

3) Enduring insults from a white sick slut creates in your mind the illusion that, fuck, you want her so much to put yourself into that shit! And this illusionaly seems to intensify the urges, the desire. Does this really adds some extra pleasure? Is it an innocent kink to spice things up? Well, that is totally FALSE, it serves basically an attemp to restore the intensity of the urges that were supressed by the fear of humiliation, so it is not a kink for extra pleasure, it is an illusion to restore a portion of the severed urges, thus it is a symptom of a problem, not a conscious method to increase desire etc. There is a need to intensify the urges by enduring nigger insults, more than what urges you have when you see the white slut and you get horny, not because you are so horny boy and you want more, but because you simply want to restore your urges. The insulting does not fully restore your urges, simply because enduring the humiliation is not pleasurable and it prevents total satisfaction (don't judge how you feel at that moment, because you don't know how you would feel if you had no inner conflicts! yeah baby! So your 100% of urges you have with a white hot girl are severed to 30% by your mind obstacles and enduring insults and thinking that you want her so much to do so will simply makes your urges rise to 50%. Ofcourse you don't want her so much, because if you watch her on the street, you wouldn't notice her at all! and you fucking know it! So it is all about your brain, you put your mind to believe an illusion in order to overcome your inner conflicts.

Being called nigger would be the same as being called asshole by a stranger (ok maybe little more), you would either ignore him or insult him or beat him. The same if you are called nigger on the street by the same sick white slut! You would beat her fuckin brains out! So this shows that it is a totally mental procedure.
continues...

How humiliation can be erotic?
The psychodynamics of this is that the person needs to alleviate his fear of humiliation. When he is actually humiliated, the fear of being humiliated disappears! Ok, now he is humiliated and he doesn't fear of being humiliated! So he is free to express his urges! When he wants to be humiliated in order to believe that his humiliating characteristic is true, the urges can be expressed without any supression! Ofcourse he does so, only in a controlled environment with a sick white slut, because the same person will react differently if humiliated by a stranger in real life and he will not become aroused.

So the reason why so many women enjoy been called whores, sluts, cumbackets, they want to get spanked, spat on their face, hair pulling etc in the bed, it is because only then, they make the fear of being humiliated disappear and express fully their sexuality, without any obstacles and they fuck like whores! yeah baby!

What is the solution to the problem of erotic humiliation?

So it is a pair of opposing forces, fear of humiliation (created by the own mind or instillated by society) and urges, an inner conflict that creates stress and needs relief. The relief comes when you solve the conflict.

Ofcourse resolving the inner conflict must be done through psychotherapy (self or pro): the mind must understand that urges are not a threat and gain sense of control, that the fear of humiliation is not valid and can be ignored (you understand this when you know who you are and not accepting other's opinions about who you are), treat past traumatic experiences, etc it is really up to the individual.

If you want not to do so, practise humiliation games with your boyfriend/girlfriend, nobody cares, and it may actually make you come closer and increase trust between you and your partner.

But! the "service" of professional pervert whores called doms, etc is NOT either therapeutical nor alleviating, they just perpetuate the problem by giving a momentary relief from the tension of the conflict, with a price to pay ofcourse, not only financially but psychological ofcourse, since in the long term the conflict is exaggerating. It is sad to see the whole fuckin web full of broke drug addict pervert failure wanna be ugly model sluts and so on, taking advantage of your inner conflicts either mentally or financially and especially for men who are of a weaker character. Bang a whore with few bucks, don't feed the lowlife sluts.

Foot sniffing

Can foot smell cause sexual arousal? For specific men, yes. Olfactory stimulation can indeed cause sexual arousal. Also, sweat may contain pheromones and trigger sexual arousal. But is this true for foot sniffing? A test must be conducted: foot sniffers must be exposed to male and female socks. What if they get aroused by male socks? That will prove that their arousal is totally cognitive. Also, if it is about pheromones of sweat, why not get aroused by other body odors? from armpits for example? For these people foot smelling may evoke memories of their first erections. Or by enduring the foot smell of their partner, they masochistically believe they endure for their love. Also, they may just use the smell in order to fixate their attention and thus trigger erection. Or maybe sniffing the foot smell indicates a more intimate contact with the partner, since they are used to this smell when they remove their socks and go to bed. Anyway, they don't harm anybody, it is a harmless fetish, but if become obsessional it is dangerous, also it may be a precursor to an extremely disturbing fetish, femdom.

Origins of foot fetish

The foot resembles a phallic symbol, a part of the woman's body that looks like a phallus, it is of the size of phallus, and of the shape of phallus (or maybe the toes are considered phallic symbols for some). Why this part and not her hands, her nose, etc? Because it is considered a bit more intimate body part, not exposed to view all the time and due to this fact, it is more likely to be a phallic symbol, since phallus is intimate as well. Revealing feet is done when two people get more intimate and it is something almost not acceptable under normal daylife social life, in school, in job, in the street etc. So the anticipation to reveal feet can be an analogue of the anticipation of revealing phallus for some. The likelihood to consider the foot as a phallic symbol is increased compared with other body parts, also because it must represent some kind of power. Phallus represents power, thus the phallic symbol must do the same to be a more believable phallic symbol. But how foot can represent power? In many circumstances a person in the feet of another person seems inferior or defeated, so feet can easily be assigned as a symbol of power. Also, the fact that often feet are considered dirty, the lowest part, ignored, etc, placing one at the feet of another, increases the symbolic "defeat" and thus it assignes more power to feet. Kissing feet, washing feet, etc are in many societies symbolic acts of submission as well. Moreover, the visual effect of watching someone from above increases your power to him and the opposite: watching from below (from the foot level) increases the power on you. Furthemore, the fact that feet often are considered smelly, dirty, and children learn to seem them disgustingly, may be a precondition to see it as a phallic symbol, since children also are taught to consider penis as dirty. So all these can be subconsciously proceced in the foot fetishist mind and making the foot satisfying many preconditions to be considered a phallic symbol.

The same goes with shoes, pointy, boots, high heels etc, all resemble phallic symbols, all are strongly associated with feminity, and all are associated with status, power, etc.

Why a man would look for a phallic symbol in women?
When a man starts understands the differences of the sexes, and starts exploring the opposite sex, he is fascinated by two mechanisms. First, his mother gives him love and satisfies his needs, so he craves her (not sexually, but the differences are obscure at that age). Second, having experiences with girls and women, cause him erections (may not be visible at very young age as a full erection, but as penile responses as the sexual centers of the brain are starting to stimulate, by the visual stimulis). As his interested in women begings, his enthusiasm makes him craving women. Also, he maybe considers becoming like them (differences in the sexes are obscure at that age and maybe wanting something is translated to becoming this, as for example liking cats makes a child act like a cat) (transference). The craving of his mother (for satisfying his needs) and of women (for giving him atypical erections) cause enthusiasm which easily and quickly becomes a disappointment, since he cannot have always his mother near or other women. Thus, the first experience of desire of the other sex or of his mother makes him feel dependable. But as the age of the child increases and there is a social demand for independence (his parents teach him to be independent etc) but also a personal need for independence (his ego and egoism are starting to formulate, eg. he starts demanding games, etc), the previous enthusiasm about the mother and women is conflicting with his ego and is experienced as a threat or a cause of disatisfaction (he wants his mother but he can't have her all the time so it is disappointment, her mother often may not satisfy his increasing needs, so it is disappointment, his mother may object to some of his needs, so it is threat, feels compelled from wanting women, so it is threat to his ego). This conflict leads the child to experience the opposite sex as a cause of threat or disappointment (he may wouldn't do so, if he didn't experience his craving for women so intensively, which increased his expectations and thus made his later disatisfaction more intense), which can be called castration anxiety, not of actual castration but a symbolic threat and disappointment from the love object against the masculinity, the ego, the egoism, the self, the satisfaction, the inner peace, the personal choices, etc of the child. In order to alleviate this conflict, as a defense he must find a phallic symbol in women. Subconsciouly the young male when he watches women, he seeks for a phallic symbol on them.

There can be many reasons why a person can seek a phallic symbol in a woman, but it is a pathology to do so anyway, it is a mechanism to alleviate a conflict (not to solve it, as it should be the goal and ofcourse there shouldn't be a conflict at first hand).
First, he may try to find a phallic symbol, because wanting to become like them is later experienced as a threat to his ego and masculinity, so by finding a phallic symbol to women, the transference connection with the woman will be possible (he may "become" a woman) and thus erection is achievable (please note it's about trangender wishes, etc, it is symbolicaly and way of thinking of childs that if they cause conflict and not been resolved they are preserved into the subconscious).
Second, he may need to find a phallic symbol, so that worshipping it, he will make him feel safe that the woman will not leave him, dissatisfy him, disappoint him, threaten his self, etc, and this way by feeling safe, erection is possible. Third, it can relieve the conflict of the threat of the loss of ego, since the woman can have a phallus, a power, when he feels overpowered by his sexual urges, so he will feel safe that someone will protect him. In every way, the erection is the result, which can be due to many things, for example as a defense of the ego, the penis erects in order to stress his masculinity, as a reaction of aggression, as a way of allowing erection since stress, inhibitions, etc are decreased.

Also, worshipping feet could be perceived as a threat to ego, which causes narcissistic rage, that leads to erection from feeling aggression or perceived as causing to him feelings of defeat, which symbolically mean defeat against sexual inhibitions that are supposed to protect ego, and thus triggering erection.

Now the "arguements" foot fetishists use to justify their craving for the foot are just non-senses: they may say that they just love women from head to toe, they may describe the details of the foot as if it is something exceptional, etc. No matter what they claim, their behaviour surely is strange and indicate that a subconscious cognitive process is going on. Worshipping a dirty part of a woman in order to prove his love, etc, is often an indication of perverse sense of love.

For a foot fetish to fully develop, some other factors may be contributing. First, the need to fixate in a specific body part, in order to increase attention, so that erection will be possible. This ofcourse is needed for people that have strong sexual inhibitions and need this kind of fixating in order to get aroused. Second, some may have a need to see first sexually a body part that it is intimate, but not associated with the guilt of normal erotogenous zones (eg vagina, breasts, etc). So seeing foot this way, they become aroused since they decrease the guilt associated with watching other body parts and this helps them become sexually aroused.

Ofcourse, the experiences of each foot fetishist are unique, for example seeing in a movie kissing etc may incline them to foot fetishism. Also, the whole process is too complicated and various factors are different in each foot fetishist, for example the intensity of the disappointment that caused the castration anxiety would be a factor, etc, so each foot fetishist is unique, but the underlying mechanism is the same.

Each to their own?

Imagine you watch someone occupied with his favorite hobby, for example cutting the grass in his garden or running with a jet ski and you watch him look so happy doing this. But you don't understand what is the joy of cutting the grass, or what is all about running with a jet ski. Eventually, you just think "oh, each to their own". And this is true.

But when watching people engaging in femdom activities, the reaction non-pervert people have is not the same as above. The "what is all about doing this" reaction is replaced by "WTF?? is he ok with his mind?" and the "each to their own" reaction is replaced by "ignore them these are sick"

The reason of this is obvious: it is not that the femdom activities contain risks (many hobbies contain risks too) it is not that the femdom activities are just not understandable to most people (many hobbies too) it is just that the male in femdom activities acts in a self-attacking, masochistic, both emotionally and sexually way.

We will outline the feelings of these people, why they feel like this and why they need to feel like this, the reasons, the psychodynamics, etc in order to reveal the true underlying mechanisms.

Hello.

Hello.
This blog is about reveal the truth about perversions, by eliminating the false arguements of perversive way of thinking and restoring the reality.

It is not against those who engage in perverted activities, but it is against false misconceptions about this behaviour. It is not about making these people feel sick, but it is about make them aware that there might be a problem.

And finally, the main goal of this blog is to awake all those who affect the development of children and young people's personality, for example parents, school, society, etc in order to prevent psychopathological sexuality.